I would like to introduce my column to you, "From Mourning to Joy." This column will run bi-weekly. In writing these articles, it is my hope that readers will become more comfortable speaking about their grief, their losses and how it affects them personally. We will all experience the death of a loved one at some time in our lives.
When someone is born we rejoice; when someone is married we celebrate; but when someone dies we are expected to act as if nothing has happened. Something DID happen and you must grieve that loss. Society, for the most part, does not allow you to grieve or share your stories, and if you cry more than six months after the death of a loved one, you may be told to "move on, as it is six months since this death happened."
It is in telling the story of your loss that you will heal. In one of the videos I show at my support groups, one professional tells us that you have to tell your story thousands of times before you heal - so I encourage you to get started. Tell your story over and over to someone you can trust with these most precious thoughts.
Grieving is a normal aspect of your existence. Developing loss and grief skills are essential to living well, staying healthy and growing stronger. I encourage you to grieve. Do not be afraid of grief. Create new meanings for the present and future from your past. You will benefit richly to see what grief can teach you. One can become more courageous, stronger, and have learned so much by embarking on the journey of grief.
Grief can affect you in so many ways; physically, emotionally, psychologically, sexually, and spiritually. Grief can last for a longer period of time than you ever thought it would.
People often ask me "Which grief is worse, when one dies suddenly or if one is aware that our love one is dying?" And from all the books I have read, and all the stories I have heard, I can honestly say the worse grief is YOUR GRIEF.
No two people will grieve in the same way, even if their loss is similar. We were all created unique and our grief is also unique.
You live in an area of rich multiculturalism. Often it is because of your faith that you are familiar with many traditions and rituals. When words fail, you turn to rituals which give meaning and hope. It is in that hope that you can move forward and heal. Many of your religious beliefs also give you hope and the ability to see beyond today.
I will be sharing some of my own grief journey and that of my family. I will share tips I have learned on dealing with my losses. In sharing these stories, I hope you also will be able to share your treasured stories with a trusting friend or perhaps you will read something you can share with someone who is grieving.
"May your mourning turn into joy."
Margaret Anne Yost nursed for 35 years, working mostly on medical floors. She has journeyed with many clients who were dying, and she tried to comfort their families during this difficult time. She has completed two units of Clinical Pastoral Education.
Returning back to school she completed classes from the Red River College in the areas of Gerontology, Bereavement, Death and Dying. She was enrolled eight years in lay ministry training. At present, she enjoys her role at St. Paul Lutheran Church in Yorkton in the area of parish work. For the past ten years she has also been employed at Bailey's Funeral Home working in the area of Continuing Care.
Comments and articles may be forwarded by mail to: Margaret Anne Yost, P.0. Box 554 Melville, Sask. S0A 2P0
Or phone 1-306-621-9877 (9 am-5 pm) or at home 1-306-728-4744 (evenings).
