Empty-nest syndrome is the name given to a psychological condition that can affect parents when their children are leaving home. It is not a condition of illness found in medical books, yet very real and can affect you emotionally, physically and spiritually. It is most common when your last child goes off to university or when your last child gets married and leaves home.
As parents you may have feelings of depression, sadness, emptiness and grief. You knew that this day will come but, you may have a difficult time facing this reality that your child is all grown up and ready to leave home.
Mothers are usually affected the most. During this time frame, mothers often are going through other significant life events themselves such as menopause or trying to cope with increasingly dependent elderly parents or in-laws. This doesn't mean that dads are immune to Empty Nest Syndrome. Men may experience similar feelings when their children leave home. Men often do not express feelings openly so we may not hear about their concerns as openly as we hear the concerns of women.
The children also go through growing pains and often wish they were home again. Often children do return home again as they may need financial assistance, the need for additional education, divorce or any other problem causing a temporary transition in their lives.
You have spent years preparing your children for this day and you often do not realize how fast that day came for your children to leave home. The house seems so empty after the children leave home. The frig remains full, no more slamming of doors, no more dirty clothes on the floor, and the phone has stopped ringing.
It will take time to make new adjustments once your children have left home. This may be an excellent opportunity for you and your spouse to share some precious time together and do something you have often longed to do. You may wish to take a vacation, go back to school, relocate, change your vocation or take up a new hobby.
It is important to stay in touch with your children. Today's families keep in contact with each other principally by texting.
Another popular way of keeping in touch is by email, while others use Skype and the use of Webcams. If you don't know how to use these modern ways of communication, learn how to do it as soon as possible and keep in touch with your children.
The home may feel empty, but it can be a time for new beginnings for you and your spouse. It can be a time of reflection, and a time to rejoice for a job well done. Remember what blessing it has been for you to have raised your children in a loving Christian home. Now you watch as they live out morals that have been taught to them in their youth.
A new chapter in your life has begun- the last chapter is completed and you can be very proud that your child has made this far in life. Letting your children go is the next stages of their life is often difficult. You may find this to be an emotion time in your life. Many emotions will be experienced and reflected upon in this time frame.
Your young adult children will do tasks differently than you did them. They will make some mistakes just as you did, but you can step back and thank God for a child who is now a young adult ready to spread their wings and fly.
Take pride in your children's successes and get to know them again as a young adult.
Margaret Anne Yost nursed for 35 years and journeyed with many clients who were dying. I completed two units of Clinical Pastoral Education at the Regina General Hospital. Returning back to school I completed classes from the Red River College in the areas of Gerontology, Bereavement, Death and Dying.
I was enrolled eight years in lay ministry training, and graduated as a (LPA) Lay Pastoral Assistant. For twelve years I worked in bereavement support at a funeral home. At was employed as an Interim Parish Worker at Good Shepherd Lutheran Church in Melville Sask. I now enjoy my role as homemaker and full time grandmother.
