An obituary is a notice of someone's death and should focus on accomplishments of the deceased person and the impact that person had on their family, friends and community. There is therapeutic healing in writing an obituary. There is healing in recalling memories and in putting them into words. This may be a good time to involve other members of the family, including children. The Funeral Homes will help you with this task, but it is healing to do this task yourself.
When my in- laws died in Pennsylvania, we looked at the local newspaper for ideas of what to include in the obituary. This was the first time some of us had to do this task. It is also good to check with the newspaper for ideas, since their rates may influence the length of the obituary. Pictures may or may not accompany the obituary.
Using index cards is a good way to start writing an obituary. This will help you to organize your thoughts and makes it easy to move things around and place them in chronological order. Take seven index cards and number them 1-7.
On your first index card include: The name of the deceased, (maiden name if applicable) their age and address. Place of birth and place of death (length of illness before death - optional).
On your second index card include: Name of surviving spouse/partner, number of years married. (maiden names where applicable.) Parents of the deceased, the deceased person's educational accomplishments, degrees earned, licenses held, military service if applicable; places where they lived and worked may be mentioned at this point.
On your third index card include: church membership, club memberships, hobbies, and other interests.
On the fourth index card include: survivors - spouse/partner's name, children (include spouse's/partner's first name in parenthesis), the number of grandchildren (you may want to include names of grandchildren if there only a few grandchildren) parents, siblings. You may want to include aunts, uncles, nieces and nephews if there is no immediate family. List family members which predeceased your loved one (usually done in order - spouse, parents, children, grandchildren, siblings).
On the fifth card include: the date and location of vigil or prayer service, funeral service, name of officiant, and title, visitation information if applicable, memorial service if applicable.
On your sixth index card: List any memorial that may have been established and for what cause(s) or organizations.
On your last card include: Any people or organizations you wish to thank publicity for care given to the deceased, or to people who were of assistance to you. (This includes, friends, neighbours, hospital or nursing home staff, clergy, musicians, soloist etc.)
I hope that this step by step guide will be of benefit to you as you write the obituary for your loved one. It is good to have several people read the obituary out loud, to make sure spelling is correct and no one is excluded that should be mentioned in the article. Obituaries are a keepsake for many people and are written to honour the one who has died.
"May you find healing as you write the obituary of your loved one."
Margaret Anne Yost nursed for 35 years, working mostly on medical floors. She has journeyed with many clients who were dying, and she tried to comfort their families during this difficult time. She has completed two units of Clinical Pastoral Education.
Returning back to school she completed classes from the Red River College in the areas of Gerontology, Bereave-ment, Death and Dying. She was enrolled eight years in lay ministry training. At present, she enjoys her role at St. Paul Lutheran Church in Yorkton in the area of parish work. For the past ten years she has been employed at Bailey's Funeral Home working in the area of Continuing Care.
Comments and articles may be forwarded by mail to: Margaret Anne Yost, P.0. Box 554 Melville, Sask. S0A 2P0 or call 1-306-621-9877.
