Journaling is a powerful tool for healing from grief. Many respond, "Oh, but I'm not a good writer." The most important part of this exercise is not penmanship but is in expressing of one's feelings. There is no right or wrong way of keeping a grief journal.
Grief journals aren't meant to take you step-by-step through your grief, as one would do with a structured course. But grief journals are meant to be a therapeutic way to help you. Journaling, drawing and painting can be powerful healing tools in grief as well as in other difficult life transitions. There are some tips one can use in journaling.
Do not type and do not use a computer- write with pen and paper in hand. There is something physically healing about putting words on paper- getting out those feelings which are deep seated within your heart. There is something about seeing words on paper that can be re-read at a later date. The act of putting pen to paper is a physical act of expression and "pushing out" whatever emotion is inside of you, and in my experience writing is more effective than typing. Don't worry about your penmanship - just get the words out.
Date your entries. In days to come if you should decide to re-read your journal, you can see how far you've come. You'll appreciate having the writings dated. Don't be a slave to your journal - it's to be a friend. Only write in it when you want to.
Don't worry about spelling, grammar or complete sentences. This exercise is a right-brained (emotional) experience, not a left-brained (rational) one. You need not use complete sentences- point form may be easier to do at first- as you continue with your journal it will become easier and easier to write. You will be pleasantly amazed how your journal helps sort out things in your mind.
Relax. Let your body be part of the process. If tears drop on your page allow them to water your words- tears can be part of your excise and they are a healing tool.
Write mindfully. Stay in the present tense as you write. Feel your pen on the paper. Take note of your body - are you tense or are you more relaxed. Take a deep breath and continue to put thoughts on paper.
Write about your dreams and fears. Dreams can be a powerful source of healing in grief and life transitions, and writing them down is a great way to remember and learn from them. Fears are seldom spoken out loud, but can be expressed safely on paper.
Have a special time in the day to write. Keep your journal by your bed, so it is easy to record all those dreams and thoughts that are going through your mind. Remember, no one is going to read your grief journal unless you want them to, and if you're really worried about someone reading your thoughts, you can lock your grief journal up, or burn the pages once you're done getting all your thoughts on paper.
Painting or drawing. Draw or paint what you are feeling. This can be another powerful way to get your feelings out in a way that makes it workable for each individual person.
Connect with a power higher. This is a good time to connect with a higher power - Your Creator - Your God. Petition of Prayers may be written as a closing to each day's journaling. Each day one can ask for guidance and strength for the coming day.
May you find your journal to be a very good friend - one to whom you can tell everything. Let it be a friend who plays a valuable role in your healing. - Carol Ruth Blackman
Margaret Anne Yost nursed for 35 years, working mostly on medical floors. She has journeyed with many clients who were dying, and she tried to comfort their families during this difficult time. She has completed two units of Clinical Pastoral Education.
For the past ten years she has also been employed at Bailey's Funeral Home working in the area of Continuing Care.
Comments and articles may be forwarded by mail to: Margaret Anne Yost, P.0. Box 554 Melville, Sask. S0A 2P0
Or phone 1-306-621-9877 (9 am-5 pm) or at home 1-306-728-4744 (evenings).
