Submitted by Kaare Askildt, former Preeceville area farmer in training. This one of a series on getting settled in Hazel Dell.
Mmm! This nice warm weather brings a particular song from Porgy and Bess to mind: Summertime and the living is easy. Time has come to prepare the garden. Well, firstly Marion finally conceded that we don't have to grow the potatoes inside, so she took the indoor canvas potato growing bag back to the store. Good thing too, as I could not figure out how I or Marion would be able to hill the potato plant in our living room!
I fired up my 4020, and Marion showed me where she wanted the garden, somewhat in front of our kitchen window. I had promised her that I would remove the sod with the tractor bucket, and lay on some nice clean composted sheep manure. One of the previous owners had a flock of sheep which he kept in an old barn over winter, and he scraped all the sheep poop into two big mounds before the barn collapsed the following summer.
With the 4020 nicely warmed up, I tilted the bucket slightly, pushed the front edge into the ground and crept forward. I got a little bit of sod at the start, but then the bucket just glided on top of the grass. I backed up and did it again; only this time I had a greater tilt on the bucket. I was taking off sod alright, and Marion came running over and made me stop. "Look at that big hole! The way you're going," she said, "you'll be parking the tractor upside down in a barn in China!" I stood up and looked, and had to admit that she was right, I had excavated a deep hole.
Having been in sales all my life, I'm pretty quick responding to objections. "Of course I have to excavate," I said with a big smile, "that way you'll get a nice deep bed of virgin sheep composted soil!" My overcoming objections skill must have gotten a bit rusty, because she didn't buy it! Oh well, I finally managed to scrape off enough sod for the garden, and got many buckets full of sheep compost spread out on top. When I was done, Marion actually had to concede that it looked good!
Roland Larsen and I had a table with our books at the first annual Mom-A-Me-A trade show in Canora recently. There were a lot of exhibitors there, but very few people attended the trade show, probably because it was the first year. Roland and I will probably share a table there again next year. Just to be clear, neither Roland nor I are forcing our books on anybody. If someone does not want to buy the books, all they have to say is "No thank you!" Roland and I have heard a few interesting excuses for not buying our books, between the Preeceville trade show and the one in Canora. Here are a few of them: I left my money (or cheque book) at home. Do you take credit cards? My son is too young and cannot read, but you could read to him, he won't listen. I cannot read, and my wife cannot read either. My wife would kill me.
But the best was at the Preeceville show, where a man with a slight British accent picked up my book, looked at it and asked me in a serious manner if I know how to write. When I blurted out a surprised: "What did you say?" He asked if I had a Ph.d in English, to which I replied: "I am Norwegian and had to learn English as my second language, but when you learn how to read, I'm sure you will enjoy my book!" He didn't say a word after that, just put the book down and walked away.
Two old retired Norwegians, Ole and Sven, were sitting together on a park bench feeding the pigeons. All of a sudden Sven broke out in a hysterical laughter. Ole got a little frightened by this, but he waited until Sven had settled down. "What was so funny?" asked Ole. "Well," said Sven, "just to keep my spirits up, I was sitting here telling myself some old jokes. But then all of a sudden I told myself a really funny joke that I haven't heard before!"
A Norwegian criminal gang called the Norse Mafia consisted of three members, Ole, Sven and Lars. After a lengthy police investigation they were caught and charged with having committed a string of very serious criminal offences. The three of them were sentenced to 10 years in solitary confinement. However, due to the length of the solitary confinement, each one of them were told that they could bring with them whatever they would need to pass the time. After due consideration, Ole was allowed to bring his wife with him. Sven was granted as much beer and aquavit needed to last him the 10 years. Lars however, as per his request was provided with enough cigarettes to last him the 10 years of solitary confinement.
On the day of their release, the guards unlocked the door of Ole's prison cell, and Ole emerged with his wife and six new children. Sven was drunk and just about fell out of his prison cell when the guard opened his door. However, when they opened the door to Lars's cell, they found him sitting in the corner whimpering: "Anybody got a light?"
