This year not everyone will be preparing for a Merry Christmas. Holidays can be very painful for people who have experienced a loss of any kind. The pain of grief can come from many different sources.
Yes, having experienced a death is very painful around the holidays, but so are the pains of many other factors in life. There is no "happy pill" that one can take to magically remove the emotions of grief.
This year you may be facing a diagnosis of a terminal illness, loss of job, loss of friends, maybe you are having a difficult time to make ends meet. Perhaps you have experienced a separation or divorce and your Christmas may be very difficult this year.
Whatever you loss may be, take comfort in the fact that you can draw support and comfort from those around you. Your family and friends can form a team approach to deal with the loss, and together you can make it through these holidays.
One can't dwell on the past, "I should have" and "If only I would have". We have to move beyond that point. If we do not move ahead we can become very bitter. In becoming bitter, we will show anger.
When anger is displayed openly, we will hurt those whom we love the most. We can decide to make our Christmas less stressful by not conveying anger and bitterness to our family members. Often our emotions are contagious and other family members will respond to our outward expression of emotion.
How can we turn our loss around into a learning experience and grow from it? God is walking with us; we are not alone. He will help us through this difficult time if we but give Him a chance.
I have often discovered the greatest lessons in life when I walked the darkest valleys in life. When things were the most difficult, I learned to trust in the Creator, and I spent more time in prayer. When I am coasting on the hill tops and all is going well, I have learned very few lessons in my life time.
Perhaps this year Christmas can be less stressful for us, because of our loss. We can do less running around and less shopping. We can spend more time in building family relations by being together. We can use our time wisely and focus on the real meaning of Christmas. We don't need all those material things that will be exchanged a few days after Christmas, or things that get broken just days after Christmas and land up in the garbage.
God always takes our weak moments and turns them into pillars of growth. He takes our difficult situations and uses them for our own good. As we seek to trust him more in the small trials in life- He will sustain us and provide for our every need.
God encourages us to forgive each other. An unforgiving attitude can eat us up inside and prevent us from moving forward and having a good Christmas.
Often funeral homes, hospitals or churches will offer a "Blue Christmas service" around the holidays. If you have experienced a loss of any kind, I encourage you to attend a service. This service of remembrance will bring healing and peace to a grieving heart.
"May the spirit of Christmas bring you peace,
The gladness of Christmas give you hope,
The warmth of Christmas grant you love."
~Author Unknown
Margaret Anne Yost nursed for 35 years. Returning back to school I completed classes from the Red River College in the areas of Gerontology, Bereavement, Death and Dying. For twelve years I worked in bereavement support at a funeral home.
At present I am employed as an Interim Parish Worker at Good Shepherd Lutheran Church in Melville Sask. I also enjoy my role as homemaker and full time grandmother.
