Submitted by Kaare Askildt, former Preeceville area farmer in training. This one of a series on getting settled in Hazel Dell.
My wife is back! Even though she thoroughly enjoyed her week in the Rocky Mountains, she has come to the conclusion that she is indeed a flat lander rider. Traversing the side of a mountain on a very narrow trail while on horseback, with a 100 feet drop on one side and the side of the mountain on the other side might be exciting she said, but galloping across a meadow on the prairies with the wind blowing in her face is more thrilling! In any event I'm very glad to have her back safe and sound.
We had to finish off the eaves, so I fired up the 4020 and lifted Marion up in the bucket. First she had to replace the facia boards on the last section, which included the removal of the old weathered boards. I teased her a little bit about the girlie way she was using the hammer, holding it with both hands, banging the board around the nail to scare the nail so it would jump in by itself! She's a good sport, and took the ribbing in stride, because she needed me to operate the tractor bucket. With the facia boards in place, she mounted the last section of eaves.
She did a real good job, but of course now that we have the eaves in place, the sun came out and no more rain! We had to test them with water to check for leaks. Marion climbed up on the roof, and I handed her the garden hose. Our garden hose consists of three different hoses coupled together. The last section is one of those newfangled collapsible flex hoses.
In any event, I turned on the water while Marion was holding the end of the flex hose loosely in one hand. The village had turned off the water for about an hour a couple of days ago, to do some service work on the pump or something like that, so there was some air in the line. The water shot out of the hose, and it slipped out of her hand. Then the water stopped as the air emptied out of the line. When the water stopped, the flex hose shrunk back, the end of the hose got caught on an eaves bracket with the end hanging down over my head, I was about to grab it when the water burst out of the hose again and drenched me from head to toes. I looked like a wet cat. My wife, who is usually very sympathetic, could not contain herself and just roared with laughter! "That's what you get for teasing me," she laughed.
After having turned off the water, we repeated the process, and she held on tight to the hose this time. I turned on the water again and she flooded all the eaves, and then she resealed the joints where there were small leaks.
The following were questions on a recent test for grade four students, and some of the interesting answers (my notes in italic):
Q: Name the four seasons.
A: Salt, pepper, mustard and vinegar. (Pass the garlic.)
Q: Explain one of the processes by which water can be made safe to drink.
A: Flirtation makes water safe to drink because it removes large pollutants like grit, sand, dead sheep and canoeists. (We only flirt with canoeists!)
Q: How is dew formed?
A: The sun shines down on the leaves and makes them perspire. (Close enough!)
Q: What causes the tides in the oceans?
A: The tides are a fight between the Earth and the Moon. All water tends to flow towards the moon, because there is no water on the moon, and nature abhors a vacuum. I forget where the sun joins in this fight. (Must be when the sun gets mooned!)
Q: What guarantees may a mortgage company insist on?
A: If you are buying a house, they will insist you are well endowed. (It might help, but insist?!)
Q: What are steroids?
A: Things for keeping carpets still on the stairs. (OK! Better you don't know)
Q: What happens to your body as you age?
A: When you get old, so do your bowels and you get intercontinental. (Yep, it happens on any continent!)
Q: What happens to a boy when he reaches puberty?
A: He says goodbye to his boyhood and looks forward to his adultery. (Well maybe some boys do, but not all of them!)
Q: Name a major disease associated with cigarettes.
A: Premature death. (That's pretty major!)
Q: How can you delay milk turning sour?
A: Keep it in the cow. (Hmm!)
Q: How are the main parts of the body categorised? (e.g., abdomen.)
A: The body is consisted into three parts - the brainium, the borax and the abdominal cavity. The brainium contains the brain, the borax contains the heart and lungs, and the abdominal cavity contains the five bowels, A, E, I, O and U. (What happened to the consonants?)
Q: What is the Fibula?
A: A small lie. (Including this answer?)
Q: What does "varicose" mean?
A: Nearby. (Nearby what?)
Q: What is a seizure?
A: A Roman emperor. (Really?)
Q: What is a terminal illness?
A: When you are sick at the airport. (Before or after going through security?)
Q: Give an example of a fungus. What is a characteristic feature?
A: Mushrooms. They always grow in damp places and so they look like umbrellas. (Not like a Toadstool in a toad bar?)
Q: What does the word "benign" mean?
A: Benign is what you will be after you be eight. (OK then!)
