Submitted by Kaare Askildt, former Preeceville area farmer in training. This one of a series on getting settled in Hazel Dell.
The chickens and turkeys have been ordered from the hatchery and will be mailed to us when they are one day old. The birds will be at the Preeceville post office in early July. I wonder if we get a discount if they flap their wings. It should make for cheaper air mail, wouldn't you think? We just have to prepare the chicken coop and the turkey yard. They will enjoy their quarters after we get rid of the mice family that overwintered in there. I'm looking forward to doing the feeding and watering for those cute little critters!
There are two coyotes hanging around our yard. They seem to have befriended the horses as well as our dog Lady. I will have to do something before we can let the chickens and turkeys out in their little yards, or they might become coyote dinners. Perhaps I'll try to completely fence in the yards, including an overhead chicken wire. That ought to keep the coyotes out. I thought about shooting them, but we are too close to the village, and stray bullets can wreak havoc, and also I don't want to hit one of our animals by accident. I only have a live trap for a skunk, which I can't use on them because I believe that the coyotes are too smart for that. In fact, last time I saw one of them, I grabbed a broom handle and pointed it at him. He obviously knew that it was not a gun, as he just sat there cocking his head as to say: "What're you gonna do with that? Throw it at me?"
Coyotes are a problem all across North America, and for those of you who watch the funny cartoons on Saturday mornings with your kids or grandkids, you know the situation in Arizona where Wiley E. Coyote has been trying to capture an ostrich named Road Runner, without success. We all know that the ostrich is not a very smart bird; in fact it sticks its head in the sand when faced with danger. So it is very puzzling then that a smart animal like a coyote is unable to catch the silly bird! Wiley had a bad experience with an Acme rocket sled that he was unable to control, and as a result Wiley has filed a lawsuit against the Acme Company for supplying him with faulty merchandize and / or merchandize affixed with faulty safety labels. The rocket sled experience was just one of many incidents where Acme products purchased by Wiley, did not perform as expected and caused Wiley physical harm. The suit is currently being argued in front of the judge Yosemite Sam and a jury in an Arizona court, according to the cat Sylvester, a spokesman for the Loony Toons organization. The Acme Company is represented by Bugs Bunny, who declined to comment as the case is before the court. Elmer Fudd is representing Wiley, and he believes that Wiley has a strong case, as Elmer himself has used some of the Acme products with bad results.
In the state of Wyoming, the Sierra Club (tree-huggers) and the U.S. Forest Service were presenting an alternative to Wyoming ranchers for controlling the coyote population.
It seems that after years of the ranchers using the tried and true methods of shooting and / or trapping the predators, the tree-huggers had a "more humane" solution. What they proposed was for the animals to be captured alive; the males would then be castrated and let loose again. Therefore the population would be controlled. All of the ranchers thought about this amazing idea for a couple of minutes. Finally, an old boy in the back of the conference room stood up, tipped his hat back and said, "Son, I don't think you understand our problem. Those coyotes ain't socializing with our sheep - they're eatin' 'em!"
Ole was a farmer from way back in the hills and he had to walk twenty kilometers one way, to the general store. He arrived at the store one cool afternoon in the early winter. "Hello Ole," said Sven, the store owner. "Tell me, are you and Lena still making fires up there by rubbing two sticks of wood together, or striking stones and flint together?"
"Yah shure ya betcha, Sven. Ain't no other way. Why do you ask?" Wondered Ole.
"Got something to show you Ole, something to make fire. It's called a match," Sven answered.
"A match did you say? Ain't never heard of a match Sven," said Ole.
"Well watch this Ole. If you want a fire you just do like this," Sven said, taking a match and lighting it by striking it on his pants leg. "Huh. Well, I'll be! Ain't that something, but that ain't for me, Sven," Ole mused. "Well, why not Ole?" Sven wondered. "I can't be walking twenty kilometers every time I want a fire, just to borrow your pants leg to light a match, and with such a short thin piece of wood, the flame will burn out before I even get home!"
