Submitted by Kaare Askildt, former Preeceville area farmer in training. This one of a series on getting settled in Hazel Dell.
Roland Larsen, one of the last of the working cowboys and a true professional, picked me up at our little farm and he drove us to Canora where we shared a table at the Canora First Annual Gun Show. I presented my book for sale, and Roland offered his book, the CD and the DVD. We didn't do too badly, and will probably be back again next year.
Man I haven't seen so many butts that I can remember, rifle butts that is! There were a lot of rifles of all kinds, shotguns, hunting rifles, semi-automatics and even some military rifles. I thought it would be a good place to ask some of the exhibitors for advice on how to get rid of coyotes. I guess it was the wrong place to do such a survey. The verdict was unanimous: "shoot'em!" It was a gun show after all, so what did I expect?
Depending on who I talked to, I was urged to use any rifle ranging from a shotgun, a .22 and right up to a powerful hunting rifle! One guy even suggested a semi-automatic rifle in case I missed on the first shot! Gee, I can just see it now, I get a semi-automatic rifle, and the next thing I know the coyotes will be wearing bullet proof vests and helmets! I'm sure I'll figure something out. There was a display of powerful compound bows and arrows as well. This brought to mind the story of Ole being stopped by a police officer while going the wrong way on a one way street. "Didn't you see the arrows?" asked the officer. "Arrows? What arrows?!" replied Ole, "I'm sorry officer, but I didn't even see the archer!"
I asked Roland whether he knew if there are such things as live coyote traps and would they work. He smiled and said: "Yep! There are some around and that could probably work, but not the way you think!" "What do you mean?" I inquired. "Bait it and set it out where they travel," said Roland, "but coyotes are smart and they probably won't go in it! They will more than likely sniff at it and then laugh themselves to death instead!" He said it with a straight face too! I'll keep on investigating until I find a safe method of getting rid of the coyotes without damaging anybody or anything.
Lars was caught poaching a moose, and had to appear in court. The judge squinted over his half glasses perched on the tip of his nose and looked down at Lars. "You get two options to choose from young man," said the judge sternly, "either money or jail. Ten days in jail or $1,000.00! What will it be?" "Wow! That's great judge," said Lars and held out his hand, "I'll take the money of course!"
A lengthy Norwegian study by the Government's Social Department has finally come to a conclusion. The result was announced in all the leading Norwegian newspapers, and it concluded that statistics show that marriage is the main cause of divorce!
In a recent story I told of the swallows that are nesting in our rafters. It appears that they might have sold some rafter space to other swallows, as it seems they have gone condo with five more nests being developed at various spots in the rafters. The swallows have obviously mistaken our house for a bird sanctuary! Maybe I ought to post a sign saying: "Sold Out - No More Spots Left!" I wonder if our dog Lady is charging all the swallows protection money, as she chases the crows and magpies away from where the nests are.
There are many ways to build something, as the following story will show. The person that told me this story said it was true as it did happen to a good friend of his, but I think he was just a big fibber! Read on and judge for yourself.
There was a guy walking down a street in San Francisco, and he tripped over an old looking oil lamp. He picked it up and hid it under his jacket, because he thought it was priceless. While he was running to the antique shop to cash this puppy in, it rubbed against his shirt. POOF A genie popped out of his pocket!!!
The very angry looking Genie said: ''Alright, I have had enough with this three wish stuff, and 'cuz you stole me away from my HBO Special, I will grant you one wish only!'' The surprised man said: ''OK, I want to live in Hawaii in a huge condo on the beach with gorgeous contemporary furniture and three million dollars in cash stacked in the bedroom safe. But I am afraid of boats and planes so I want you to build a bridge from here to Hawaii.''
The genie replied with a smirk: ''Are you crazy? Do you know how long that will take, with the pillars going down 50' past the ocean floor, all the cement and rebar it would take for the highway? No I'm sorry, it just can't happen.''
The man said: ''Fine then, I want to understand women.'' The genie said: ''Would you like two lanes or four?''
