Submitted by Kaare Askildt, Preeceville area farmer in training who recently returned from a trip to his home country of Norway. This story is the final part of a three part series.
In this my last story about our Christmas visit to Norway, I will attempt to give an accurate description of the various people we encountered while there. As I am starting down this treacherous road, the old adage comes to mind: "You can choose your friends, but you cannot choose your relatives." So to be on the safe side I have to say that all my relatives are my friends, well, relatively speaking. I think that beats Einstein's theory of relativity! So let me get to the task and describe them in the order that they appeared during our visit.
Let me start with my nephew Morten and his better half Hilde, together with their daughters Silje and Frida. The most congenial hosts you would ever want to meet! Morten drove us to downtown Oslo, where we picked up a car from Budget Car Rentals. The clerk there was a young Swedish girl. The Norwegian and Swedish languages are very similar, but I didn't understand a word of what she was saying. She was kind enough to switch to English and we concluded our business by getting into a little Audi diesel.
Frida is best described as horse crazy, while Silje is more the domestic type. Frida was able to convince my wife to go with her on an afternoon ride at a nearby riding stable. The Arctic Circle is not far from where we were staying, so the days are rather short at this time of the year. Therefore the afternoon ride turned into a night adventure. Marion noticed that the horses were shod with spiked horse shoes, so that they would not lose their footing on ice. They both had a wonderful time.
Morten and Hilde's lovely home was for the most part our base, and we celebrated Christmas Eve with them. After the supper and while having coffee and cognac, we all had to take turns distributing the presents that Santa had left under the Christmas tree. For the uninitiated, Santa comes to Scandinavia on Christmas Eve and distributes his presents; otherwise he would not have time to get around the whole world by Christmas morning, and the people in North America would not have their presents on time.
Morten and his family all spoke English when addressing us, and genuinely cared for us to make sure that we were comfortable while we were there. My Norwegian is a bit rusty, and when they didn't want me to understand what they were saying, they would just speed up their conversation a bit, and I would be lost. Morten is a hunter and an excellent cook and assisted by his daughter Silje they not only prepared the "Pinnekjott" for Christmas Eve, they also on different occasions served us Norwegian style venison and a moose roast! As I mentioned in my previous article, Morten is a Mechanical Supervisor with SAS Airlines, and had taken time off to host us. Hilde works with children in an after school care facility, so she has the patience that is required to deal with an Askildt. And as patience is a virtue, she is the most virtuous in that family! Silje has graduated high school and is enrolled in a post-secondary program learning the construction trade. Frida is still in high school. We also met Silje's beau Daniel, and my brother Kjell, Silje's grandfather and I took the opportunity to size him up the Askildt way, just to make sure he was a suitable candidate for Silje. He passed muster! Later on he sat down at the card table and declared that he was going to clean my clock! Yeah right! And then he did! However, Morten needs to work on his card playing skills especially in crib. I had to suffer his ineptness in just about every game!
Our next encounter with relatives was like a mini family reunion, as we were about 15 people sitting down to a combined Christmas and birthday supper at Morten's mother Anne and her significant other Stein. Anne and Stein are both officially retired and looking very good in their golden years. They laughed and said: "Goodbye tension - Hello pension!"
My nephew Jan Erik was there with two of his sons, Marius and Sondre. It was the first time we had ever met Marius and Sondre. Marius attended with his significant other Jeanette and their toddler son Lucas. Sondre is still in school, and he spoke perfect English! Jan Erik is an officer in the Royal Norwegian Air Force with the rank of Colonel. He is ground crew as he does not have his wings, but he is an IT Specialist making sure that the software required to keep the Norwegian military operational is functioning properly. He has grown a Colonel's mustache, which makes him look like a British officer with a stiff upper lip. In fact he looks a lot like a cartoon character from my youth whose name was Major Bustenskjold. He was a very klutzy Major who did all the wrong things at the wrong times. I trust Jan Erik is a better officer than that!
Let's not forget my niece Nina Charlotte, who was there with her three lovely daughters Birthe, Dina and Jenny; it was our first time meeting the cute girls. The girls told us that they are all in grade school. Nina works as a District Manager with Coca Cola Norway, and by her own account is doing one heck of a good job. Just don't mention or drink Pepsi when she's around or she'll rearrange your face for you, and as a retired team handball player she has the strength and ability to do it. She told me her boss had once said that his brain starts working as soon as he gets up in the morning, but Nina Charlotte thinks his brain stops functioning as soon as he gets to his office! It was easy to break the ice with all the grand nieces and nephews, because I look like their grandfather, in fact the little girls at times referred to me as their grandpa! I looked at my niece and both my nephews, and realized that as adults they are just kids who owe money!
Then we were off to meet some very interesting relatives in Drammen. It has been a long time since we have seen any of these people, in fact there are some additions to this family that we have never met before. We would be spending the night there with my niece Line, her husband Morten, their three children Thilde, Fride and her twin brother Filip, as well as two grandmothers, Line's mother Sigrun and Morten's mother Aase (pronounced "Oh-sa"). Line works as a therapist focusing on adjusting a person's attitude to be more positive, creating a happier image for a worker that is being re-entered into the workforce due to medical or other reasons. One of her clients presented her with a polished apple, and told her: "An apple a day keeps the doctor and therapist away!" Then he turned around and walked out of her office!
Morten's work is kind of fun to try and describe. He works for a company that deals in people! He negotiates work, and payment terms for a group of people, or better described as a team of experts. First I thought he would be a slave trader making strong men available to the highest bidder, but that was not right. He told me that there might be women involved as well, so then I guessed that he would be a pimp providing ladies of the evening and escorts, but that's against the law and he assured me that he was operating well within the Norwegian law as well as international law. What he is in fact doing is presenting oilfield engineers to interested parties all over the world to work on specific projects, and negotiates the terms of the contract.
Almost like a head hunter, he finds the company that needs his engineer's expertise, and after the project is complete the engineer comes back to Morten for other work assignments. Thilde has graduated high school and is currently working as a sales clerk, Fride and Filip are still in high school. These three kids are very polite and very well mannered, a pride to their parents! I refer to Sigrun as my older sister. I am of course very close to my twin brother Kjell, but next in line is Sigrun! She is a very nice person with a genuine concern for other people. She makes the best cloudberry cream dessert on this earth! We met Morten's mother Aase for the first time. My wife and Aase seemed to hit it off well, and they spent some time together while polluting the air!
Morten our host loaded his family and us into the Dodge Caravan and drove us up to Geilo, where we encountered more of our relatives. Firstly my twin brother Kjell the retired police officer, his daughter Inger Cecilie who has a degree in Bio Medicine and works for the Norwegian Cancer Institute, followed by his daughter Catherine who is now a full time mother, and her significant other Ove the Swede who is a sales and marketing manager for Hexatronic, a Swedish IT company, and their cute four months old daughter Nathalie. Last but not least the tallest member of the Askildt family Army Sergeant Baard, he's got to be kissing seven feet!
My twin brother Kjell, a retired esteemed police officer with a distinguished career, who once told his superior officer to go away and have a cup of coffee while he solved the crime, and he got away with it! Inger Cecilie is an old show horse jumper. She learned early on that the hardest thing training for show jumping is the ground! Catherine is an excellent care giver, and we know that her cute daughter Nathalie will grow and develop to her potential under Catherine's supervision. This was the first time we met Ove the Swede, a very affable and vivacious individual and a cross country skiing enthusiast. I believe he might have come to Geilo to learn proper skiing technique from the current Norwegian champion, but he didn't realize that Petter Northug was not available as he is competing in middle Europe somewhere, and I didn't bring my skis along so I couldn't help him either. Oh well, maybe next time! Nathalie had so much attention from so many people, that she never stopped smiling!
Baard the Army Sergeant is so tall he has to duck when he walks on the road under a bridge. The highways department put up height clearance signs on all the overpasses in Geilo just for him! We all had a wonderful joyous time together. We had a good visit with my brother and his brood. While in the mountains my brother Kjell took us along to visit with his ex-wife Hilde, who lives half way up a steep mountain side on a small farm about 200 years old. The buildings are all small with small rooms and made from rough-hewed logs. She has a number of sled dogs, and is an accomplished musher. Then we were off to visit my cousin Lisa and her husband Hallgeir. Lisa is the Catwoman from Aal! She owns two beautiful pure bred cats Phoenix and Bambina and they clean up at every cat show they attend! Hallgeir owns his own printing shop, and is also an accomplished musician.
Its downhill from here, as in Morten driving us down the mountain to Drammen to attend our final dinner party at my oldest brother Moritz and his wife Else's house. Let me describe the hosts. Else Marit Haug Askildt is a retired nurse from Telemark. She must be good people as she is not only a nurse, but also from Telemark which is my roots on my father's side! She is married to my oldest brother Moritz, a retired Captain in the Royal Norwegian Navy. He followed his childhood dream to become a professional sailor. Not one of those old pirates that walked around with a wooden leg, a patch over one eye, a hook for a hand and a parrot on his shoulder, but a true blue Royal Norwegian Navy sailor!
The dinner party was attended by both Else's and Moritz's offspring and their children. His oldest son John, the one that baked the chocolate cake, is a practitioner in Kinesiology, which would make him a touchy feely kind of guy! His wife Elisabeth is a cardio nurse who does well under pressure. Their oldest daughter Martine is attending college while trying to decide her destination in life. The youngest daughter Emilie is still in high school. She is an artist extraordinaire who has accepted the task of providing some drawings for my book "Farmer in Training." The book is in its final stages of editing. Else's oldest daughter Hege attended with her British husband Steve. Their last name is Chance, and what would be the chance of that? I guess she Chanced it! Else's youngest daughter Anne brought her very young son George along to the festivities. George being the youngest had the attention of everyone there, and just lapped it up!
All these dinner parties brought to my mind the story about a wife that was giving a dinner party one evening. She was going to serve an epicurean delight which included snails which she had forgotten to get. They lived in Italy close to the ocean. She handed a bucket to her husband to go to the beach and gather up enough snails for the party. The husband grudgingly wandered on to the beach. It was a hot sunny day, so after gathering the snails he decided to lie down for a nap. He woke up late in the evening, and to his horror remembered the wife's party. He grabbed the bucket and ran home in such a hurry that he lost his grip on the bucket and the snails were strewn all the way down the steps. His wife opened the door and angrily asked him what had taken him so long! He looked down at the snails and said: "Come on guys, we're almost there!"
