A better question is, how does one come to own a $6,000 chair that destroys every floor surface it’s on?
In the past I’ve written about how a partner and I had spent several years trying to get a virtual reality training simulator off the ground. We were unsuccessful in that venture, and have little to show for it except for some hard-earned experience and our proof-of-concept prototype.
The whole idea was to create what was essentially a flight simulator, but for heavy equipment. Since large screen monitors at the time cost more than a Toyota Corolla, we had opted to use a virtual reality headset. However, everything else was a true-to-life mockup cab of a Caterpillar 322 excavator. I measured the dimensions of the cab and had a very heavy steel base made for it. Sitting in the parts department of Kramer, Ltd., Saskatchewan’s then-Cat dealer, I ordered everything from the floor bolts up.
The invoice was enough to cause heart palpitations – six grand. I’m sure some of the individually-wrapped bolts cost $5 to $10 each. It was about double what a “jobber” seat would have cost, simply because of the embroidered Cat logo on the seat back. But that was important, since we were trying to land them as our key partner. (Someone else eventually did.)
Put together, it was quite impressive. It looked just like the cab of a Cat excavator, including a base that was an inch wider than a standard wheelchair-accessible door (oops!). But when the project failed, we now had a very comfortable, but very large and very expensive chair that no one in his or her right mind would consider buying off us. Jason didn’t want it, so I claimed it and have ever since used it as my office chair.
In our old house the chair, sans the base, sat on a pile of cinder blocks, bringing it to the height of our re-purposed wet bar I used as a desk. I had to vault over the side console to climb in. (Doesn’t your arm chair have joystick consoles attached?)
But when we got to Estevan, my new office needed a better solution. So I took the rails off and broke several drill bits drilling holes for four casters. (That was the hardest steel I had ever drilled through.)
Did I mention this chair alone weighed around 150 pounds? This was due to the very heavy suspension system designed to allow an operator to sit in a bouncing excavator for 12 hours at a time without back pain. Add to that my increasing waistline, and there were about 370 pounds on those four casters I picked up at Peavey Mart.
After a few months I noticed the chair was sitting funny. Then there were ball bearings on the floor. The casters would bend out of shape and the hard black plastic disintegrated into chunks. Some more drilling meant adding two more casters to spread out the weight, but even then, at most I got six months out of a set.
All the while the low-pile carpet started to show serious wear. Then it ripped and the cement below started wearing, too. Something had to be done.
I swapped out the six two-inch casters with four much-beefier casters, hoping they would tolerate the weight better. Now I see I have to replace all four of those, too.
I talked to every flooring guy I could find in Estevan as well as some in Regina, and none had a solution for me. No tile, rug, hardwood or laminate would stand up, they told me. It was simply too much weight.
During the Christmas break it was time to do something. Everything would come out of my office, I would paint, tear out the ripped rug and fix the cement. I picked up some unused lino from my parents and laid it last night.
On top of this, a plastic chair mat will sit, hopefully enduring the weight under new casters.
And if that fails, I’ve got one last option: I went to a fabrication shop and picked up a plate of heavy-gauge aluminum, the type they build welding truck flatdecks out of. That might be the next floor mat.
If you think your ass is fat, imagine how I feel.
