I attended speaker, Greg Drew, at Unity Composite High School as a reporter. I left his presentation as a parent vowing to hug my kids just a little tighter and once again open the dialogue about responsible choices.
Brought in by the UCHS SADD group, Drew delivers a message not about drinking and driving but about making responsible choices as well as having students realizing the number of people in their life that would be affected by their death.
Having experienced the death of a child, Drew gave first-hand accounts of the pain and anguish that has followed his son's death. But, after some long days lingering in sadness and mourning he chose to take his message to others with the hopes of saving just one kid and their family from the sadness that has enveloped his life.
Drew has a strong voice and no microphone was needed. There was not a sound to be heard during his 90-minute presentation. He chooses to engage kids with questions on their actions and life's events while using humour in his message.
As a retired B.C. firefighter, Drew talked about the methodical extractions and rescues he had been on in his career never giving a thought to what happened past the rescue, choosing to focus on the successful rescue of the victims. That was until he attended the crash of his youngest son that ultimately ended in his son Jay's demise.
His website indicates nothing could have fully prepared him for the sight of Jay trapped inside a car after a high speed crash. "After hitting a tree with tremendous force, the impact broke bones in three of the young man's limbs. His 6'5? frame was so badly injured upon impact he was forced to sit conscious for an hour and a half with a broken femur in his ear while being extracted from his demolished Eagle Talon, all in his father's presence."
Drew pounded home the message of choosing to be responsible for your actions. He reminded everyone they can't be hostage to what he calls the "superman syndrome," believing that once you are in a vehicle you are invincible. He also repeated the message of how one child's death can affect so many people and that by one kid choosing to act irresponsibly they are only thinking of themselves and not the dozens of others whose lives will change forever because of those actions.
He compared the death of a child in a family and in a community to a tidal wave. The wave that crashes in after that death will have long-lasting impacts on everyone including the protective services people who need to attend the accident. He implored each student there to ask themselves if this is what they want to do to their families, friends and community.
He also talked about the notion of leaving those in mourning to their own space and time. He said he felt chastised after his son's death without a phone call for two weeks, people rerouting themselves in stores to avoid him and just general loneliness in his deepest despair.
He encouraged kids to stand up to others knowing irresponsible behaviour is taking place. He encouraged RATT, meaning "responsible adult-thinking teenager."
Drew nearly begged listeners to never keep secrets from adults. He said after his son's fatal collision he discovered his son had been in not one but two high speed accidents just weeks prior. Had he known these details he most certainly would have confiscated that car and ultimately would have saved his son's life.
His voice broke and crackled on more than one occasion as the emotion in his message was felt throughout. The tough-guy exterior was opened several times for everyone to see the compassionate dad who is using a tragedy in his life to try to save a life of another.
His ending scenario was powerful beyond words. He shut off the photos of his son's accident, turned to the stage and picked up a single black box telling kids this is the only way he can hold his son now. And his voice rose in anger admonishing kids to be respectful and be responsible with their choices because the consequences of poor choices and decisions results in families being able to hold their children only in their memories, and in a small black cremation box like his son Jay was in, right there with Drew at the front of the UCHS gym.
A standing ovation ensued and dozens and dozens of students flocked to the front in tears thanking Drew for his message. It was a heck of a way to start a Tuesday but it might have been the best way for many of these kids to start the rest of their lives.
You can find out more about Greg Drew by logging into his website at www.jammin4jay.com.
