By Max Himsl
As in any top down examination of an organization, looking past the shiny smiles of the leaders and the obsequious servility of the middlemen one must inevitably reach the smelly, stained undergarments of the organization.
With all the high talk of “art appreciation” and “encouraging open-mindedness” and “educational opportunity” from the Chairman, it is easy to forget that someone is outside digging and building in preparation for the impending event.
Constructing stages, outhouses and corrals for the children, collecting fuel for the methane bio-power system and stringing power lines, relocating roads and bridges are all tasks that fall to the engineering department consisting of John Woodward and Abraham van der Breggen.
As you can see from the portraits the two men are opposite in nearly every way. Where John is tall and well built, Abraham is huge and hulking.
Where John sports a full, manly beard and a regal head of hair Abraham is shaggy and hirsute in an alarmingly bear-like manner and where John is casually but practically dressed in loose comfortable jeans and stylish plaid work shirt Abraham slouches about clad in baggy dungarees and rustic plaid work shirt.
Their contrasting styles carry over into their work. While John explains to visiting dignitaries his plans for a six-story parking arcade Abraham trudges past in the background dragging the tractor on the end of a chain. “Whatever are you doing,” demands John?
“HA ha, broken.”
“What do you mean, broken? Where are you taking it?”
“Hah! I fix.”
John gives a heavy sigh and an eloquent shrug and resumes his grand vision for the Art Farm Theme Park and Art Shoparama Authentic Gift Boutique to the suddenly nervous dignitaries before being interrupted by a loud repetitive clanging. John whirls on Abraham, cursing violently.
“Darn it! Why, oh why are you pounding the tractor with a large rock?”
Abraham looks up and grins toothily. “Fix. Ha ha. Fix fix.”
The great hairy creature hammers on the tractor using both hands until the rock splits, falling to the ground. The dignitaries are backing away slowly, staying very close together and trying to not make sudden moves.
John is thoroughly enraged at this point and advances on his coworker with clenched fists and stiff stride, spitting invective. “Oh for goodness sake. You scoundrel, you nincompoop.”
But Abraham dances around and hoots exultantly before clambering onto the tractor seat and punching the starter button. The tractor barks and fires and settles down to an ear-ringing unmuffled roar. He turns it off again and for a few seconds the only audible sound is: “Ha ha, fix fix.”
John is fuming. The dignitaries have escaped, the Art Farm Vision incompletely expounded and Abraham looks inordinately pleased with his mechanical skills.
“Well,” says John, in a sneering, cutting tone. “You broke your rock.” Abraham holds up the two pieces of stone, one in each hand, like an offering. “HA ha, Art!”
ArtFarm IV will be held June 11 from 1 to 8 p.m. Admission is a toonie, with ages six and under free. It is located at the van der Breggen farm, located south on Highway 35, west on TWP080 south at white barn. Van rides will be available from the City Centre Mall.
