Many of us cannot imagine the loss of a child, or how to go on living a normal life after that loss. Ashley Martin and Melissa Romanowski, both from Unity, have experienced this loss.
Ashley’s son, Emmett, passed away late in pregnancy at full term, while Melissa’s twin daughters, Emma and Addison, were born with an incurable genetic condition called Spinal Muscular Atrophy (SMA), that took their lives before age two. Both mothers are Registered Nurses.
They have planned a fundraiser, which sold out almost immediately, to benefit causes near and dear to their hearts: Empty Arms Perinatal Loss Support Services and Cure SMA. Empty Arms is a Saskatoon-based service that allows families who have lost their babies to have their memories captured through pictures and memory making items. They also offer the family bereavement support in the subsequent months and years, all without any cost to the family. Ashley and her husband, on behalf of 75 donors from Unity and surrounding areas, also donated a Cuddle Cot (a system that keeps the baby cool, allowing parents more time with their child after they have passed) for the use within the Battlefords Union Hospital.
Cure SMA helps families to navigate the unknown journey of Spinal Muscular Atrophy. This cause provides funding for medical equipment not covered by Saskatchewan Health as well as supporting research for SMA.
Both of these charities are entirely supported by fundraising.
Melissa, when interviewed regarding this fundraiser responded saying, “Losing a child is a life changing experience and how to move forward is a choice each parent has to make. Hosting an event like this is extremely therapeutic. It brings awareness to perinatal loss, as many people don’t think it’s possible to lose a baby after the first trimester. Spinal Muscular Atrophy is relatively unknown to many, including myself who had never heard of this disease prior to having children born with it.”
“The fundraiser allows a chance for these children’s lives to be honoured in a way that benefits others in the present and future. It all started with a dream and a couple of motivated women to get this event organized.”
As mentioned before, this event sold out almost immediately, with close friends and family being told about it. Between that and word of mouth, all tables were sold and that enabled the organizers to not have to put money into advertising.
The moms also say, “The support has been incredible – from passing the word for ticket sales and multiple items donated for silent auction and raffle items, to businesses offering to sponsor our event. [The duo] are incredibly grateful to be from such a caring and generous community!”
These moms want everyone to know that the charities they are supporting with this fundraiser solely operate on donations and fundraising efforts like this one. They support families throughout diagnosis and treatment of incurable, terminal illness – as well as through the death of infants in pregnancy and birth. Often those involved with leading these charities have lost children themselves and know firsthand the lifelong impact it has on a family.
Ashley says, “When Melissa’s daughters were diagnosed with SMA, I reached out to her to offer support and an open ear to share her fears and worries, as a mother of beautiful baby girls who were facing a diagnosis of an incurable, devastating condition.”
The two formed a friendship based on a common understanding of child illness and loss. Although they became close friends under the most unimaginable circumstances, and wished that neither of them had to share the title of “bereaved mother,” they are grateful for each other’s support and friendship.
Ashley adds, “It is truly invaluable to have a friend who knows your pain, who needs no explanation, and helps find ways to lift you up on the darkest days of your grief.”
The ladies have no expectations other than hoping they can succeed in a fundraiser that will donate as much as possible to these deserving charities. The other outcomes they hope to see are an increased awareness and empathy for those who have suffered child loss from two “rare” tragedies (stillbirth and SMA).
The duo is also extremely grateful for not only the community support for these charities, but for all who helped them survive their losses and find hope in their futures. The intent of this fundraiser is to give back and in turn make a difference in someone’s life.
Already feeling that this year is a success with a quick sellout and numerous offers of donations and support, they will consider the possibility of making this an event potentially every few years. Both Ashley and Melissa feel that sharing their stories, and being open about the pain as well as the healing that comes in time after loss has been an important part of their journey.
The duo are collecting donations for silent auction and raffle items until Feb. 15. If you would like to donate to the fundraiser or these causes, please contact Ashley at 306-228-8701 or Melissa at 306-381-8622. The event, A Night of Angels, is set to take place on Feb. 24 at the Unity Community Center, and will honour precious lives lost through a dinner, silent auction, slideshow and dance.
“A mother’s grief is as timeless as her love.” - Dr Joanne Cacciatore
