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Divorce myths and the lighter side of marriage

Pause for Reflection

Sir, if you were my husband, I would poison your drink. -Madam, if you were my wife, I would drink it. - A conversation between Lady Astor and Winston Churchill

"Mr. Smith, I have reviewed this case very carefully," the divorce court judge said, "and I've decided to give your wife $275 a week." "That's very fair, your honour," the husband said. "And every now and then I'll try to send her a few bucks myself." - Unknown

Those of us who are married have known for some time that it is not as bad as many of the statistics and popular humour indicate. On Valentine's Day 2011 United Families International released these reassuring statistics:

Fifty percent of ALL marriages do end in divorce, but more than 70 percent of all first marriages succeed. Seventy percent of all people who have ever been married are still married to the same person! (It is the lack of success of those who marry more than once that drives the overall statistic)

Married people are more likely than those who are not married to be very happy. Forty-three percent of people who say they are very happy are married versus unmarried people, 24 percent of whom say they are very happy.

People who are married report the highest levels of well-being, regardless of whether they are happily married or not.

Two-thirds of unhappily married spouses who stayed married reported that their marriages improved within five years. The most unhappy marriages report the most dramatic turnarounds: among those who rated their marriages as "very unhappy," almost eight out of 10 who avoided divorce are happily married five years later.

Wow! Who is responsible for all the myths propagated in popular movies and TV? Who is responsible for the great pessimism and the mindset that so readily excuses divorce? Henny Youngman said, "The secret of a happy marriage remains a secret". But let me tell you, the secret is out.

A long time participant in World Wide Marriage Encounter Father Wendelin Rolheiser said, "If the couple is married in church and continues to go to church, only 1 in 50 fails; but where the couple is married in church, continues to go to church and has a prayer life together, the failure is 1 in 1005."

My wife and I are strong believers that as long as we stand together before the altar of God on Sunday morning, our marriage will succeed. My personal challenge to those getting married has always been to make their marriage one in ten thousand.

I will conclude this reflection by sharing a secret on how to stay young and beautiful:

A heart that loves is always young. ~ by A Greek Proverb ~

You don't love a woman because she's beautiful, She is beautiful because you love her. ~ by Anonymous ~