The Women of Today heard a message of positivity and success during the 16th annual event.
Dr. Holly Pedersen, raised in Macoun and now director of the Deaf/Hard of Hearing Education Program in the Department of Special Education at Minot State University, gave the keynote address during the luncheon at the Wylie-Mitchell Building April 23 on how we evaluate and determine success.
"If this was a classroom exercise where we discuss at our tables what we thought and what our characteristics (of success) were, I'd expect to find very different perceptions all around the room about what makes a person successful or what makes a person unsuccessful," said Pedersen.
Pedersen told the roughly 250 attendees of the program to take time to define success for themselves.
"Because if you don't, you will waste significant time and energy chasing after somebody else's definition, and I do mean chasing. I think all of us are so busy. But if you don't take time to really define what that means to us, you'll be pursuing what someone else thinks is where we should go."
She said people need to slow down at times and evaluate the path they are on, adding "if you don't define that and you don't know where you are going, how will you know when you get there?"
She shared three case studies presenting the stories of three children whom she has worked with. Each of the children is deaf but has overcome obstacles, as Pedersen asked whether or not the children could be considered a success.
"These three children really caused me to think about what my definition of success is and what I want."
One was five-year-old Emma, who is profoundly deaf but equally comfortable using sign language or her voice to communicate.
The second was nine-year-old Kaylin, who is legally blind and who lost her hearing after being born just 1 pound and nine ounces after a 24-week pregnancy. She is now equipped with a cochlear implant. Nine years later, the young girl sings in a choir, talks and communicates on social media.
The third child was James, the inspiration for Pedersen's entire presentation, who has fetal-alcohol syndrome and autism, and carries a virus that eventually took away his hearing.
His mother took him to doctors to see if he would be a candidate for a cochlear implant, and while the doctor confirmed he medically was a candidate for the surgery, also suggested it wasn't necessary because the child wouldn't be successful with the implants.
Pedersen said his mother was livid, aware of what her son's potential was. She knew he wouldn't be talking like other children with the implants, but was offended the doctor said James would not be successful.
"You see, that surgeon had a very different perception of what success means. He could take one look at this child who he had just met and knew he would not be successful. It really began to have me think about what is success? What does that mean? Should we still give James this opportunity?"
She said James's autistic characteristics controlled his life, and he spent most of his days at daycare curled in a ball not communicating with the other children.
She ran into James and his family a couple of years later at the Minot State Fair, and he greeted her with his hands, as he regularly does, and then signed with an attitude, giving her the kind of interaction she would have expected from any other five-year-old.
"That was pretty appropriate. I could have an exchange with that child. To me that was an amazing success," said Pedersen.
She said she has found a "workable" definition of success, courtesy of John Maxwell, to use in her own life, and he says that you are successful if you can have a positive influence on someone else's life.
"All three children you have heard about today have had a positive influence on my life. They've had a positive influence on their other teachers' lives and their parents' lives, so are they successful? By the definition I've used, yes they are."
Pedersen said that with so many opportunities to make a positive impact on someone's life each day, it's only a matter of consciously choosing to make that effort.
"We have multiple opportunities all through the day to be an influence on someone else's life, whether it be positive or negative. It can be in our interaction of buying a cup of coffee," she said, noting positive acts don't require grandiose displays of greatness.
"All of us, no matter what our profession might be, no matter what your possibility in life might be, we can all do small things with a good attitude. We have all been privileged to live in a great place, so we have a responsibility to give back and share with others some of those lessons that we've had. I encourage you take that challenge today in your interactions, whether they be small or ordinary to see how can I have a positive influence in these daily interactions with these people?"
