He hasn't played a single game in the big leagues yet, but Bryce Harper may already be more of a household name than 80 per cent of Major League Baseball players. If he's not a household name where you happen to live, just wait.
Harper won't be 20 until this October and has been on the national sports radar since about the age of 14. He made the cover of Sports Illustrated when he was a 17-year-old high school phenom in Las Vegas and added to the myth when he hit the longest home run in the history of Tropicana Field, home of the Rays, during a showcase for high school stars.
His power is legendary: Besides the Tropicana blast, he also belted a 570-foot home run in high school that had every pro scout salivating at the mere thought of picking him in the amateur draft. Ultimately, that stroke of luck went to Washington Nationals, who chose Harper in 2010, one year after having the good fortune of picking the consensus best pitcher in decades, Stephen Strasburg. If both Strasburg and Harper live up to their press clippings, the Nationals could bring more attention to Washington than Barack Obama going out to the street for the morning paper in his underwear.
Harper was a catcher through high school, but his power and speed (he mythically scored regularly from second base on wild pitches) persuaded the Nationals to turn him into an outfielder to save wear and tear on his multi-million-dollar body.
You'll almost certainly be hearing plenty about Harper this summer, even though he will start the season with Triple A Syracuse, but one of the reasons he'll be so well known is that he has already developed a reputation of being ... well, a bit of a jerk. In fact, Gentleman's Quarterly magazine recently featured Harper and focused on his cockiness, calling him "the LeBron of baseball." That translates to the "Sean Avery of hockey." In the minors last year, he reportedly blew a kiss to the pitcher while jogging around the bases following a home run. He'll be the type of player hometown fans love and opposition fans despise.
Love him or hate him, the people in your household, if you follow baseball, will probably have an opinion on Bryce Harper before too long.
So why did Tiger Woods withdraw from the Cadillac Championship at Doral a couple of weeks ago? Said one Twitter cynic, who doubted Woods' story of a strained Achilles: "He was a lot closer to the parking lot than the lead."
Comedy writer Jim Barach: "The Washington Nationals will be selling an eight-pound "Strasburger" named after pitcher Stephen Strasburg. In a related story, the Yankees are thinking of naming their overpriced hot dogs after Alex Rodriguez."
R.J. Currie of sportsdeke.com: "Five-time Canadian curling champ Colleen Jones has un-retired to try to get into the Olympic trials, where four-time champ Jennifer Jones already has a berth. In a related story, it just got harder to keep up with the Joneses."
Headline at Fark.com: "49ers sign Randy Moss; organization begins treatments for clubhouse cancer."
Brad Dickson of the Omaha (Neb.) World-Herald: "In tennis, Agnieszka Radwanska defeated Akgul Amanmuradova in the inaugural Spell Check Classic."
Roger Bannister, 82, to AP, putting his breakthrough 1954 feat in perspective: "It's amazing that more people have climbed Mount Everest than have broken the four-minute mile."
The Cleveland Browns announced that they will not pursue Peyton Manning. Said Mike Bianchi of the Orlando Sentinel: "In related news, I am announcing that I will not pursue Penelope Cruz."
Headline at TheOnion.com: "Recent 6-Game Losing Streak Shows Jeremy Lin Finally Starting To Mesh With Knicks."
Steve Rushin of SI.com on Twitter: "NCAA's 'March Madness' is a total ripoff of our local Hyundai dealer's 'March Mania" sales event.'"
Dwight Perry of the Seattle Times: "Prized free-agent QB Peyton Manning and the Tennessee Titans huddled for eight hours in Nashville on Wednesday. It would've been three, but he kept changing his menu order when they broke for lunch."
Another one from Perry: "Randall McDaniel, who plowed his way to the Pro Football Hall of Fame as a 6-foot-3, 287-pound guard for the Minnesota Vikings, is now an elementary-school teacher in Minnetrista, Minn. Classroom discipline, we assume, is not a problem."
From David Letterman's The Late Show Top 10 reasons this year's Sports Illustrated Swimsuit issue is the best ever: "Ten models, nine swimsuits."
Comedy writer Alex Kaseberg: "Harvard was in the NCAA tournament, but UCLA was not. That is like a hot dog eating contest where Joey Chestnut is replaced by Ashley Olsen."
Two more Kaseberg quips, on Harvard making it into the NCAA tourney:
- "Harvard calls March Madness 'Spring-induced competitive-related temporary psychosis.'"
- "Not to say there is a discrepency between the educations of Harvard and the other teams in the NCAA tournament, but many of the teams could not spell NCAA. When asked how they did on their SAT scores, the other teams besides Harvard said: "We don't play in that conference."
Care to comment? Email brucepenton2003@yahoo.ca
