Well, it finally happened. I can no longer fit into my clothes and I am sick of feeling like I'm 200 lbs. So the question is..what are my options. After many hours of soul searching and tears, I have come to the realization how easy it is for stress to take over your life without you knowing it.
When I hit the big four zero (it doesn't hurt as much when you spell it out, ha ha) I lost 85 lbs. and at that time had vowed never to put it back on. Well years later, 50 of them have somehow crept back on. In my diagnoses of this problem, I realized I just had a baby (who has recently turned 19), went through a divorce, bought my own house, bought a business, lost my mother, sold a business, started a new job, lost my 18-year-old cat and now my aging father has come to the front of my life. These are all convenient excuses but not acceptable.
Now I don't think I'm a big eater and until recently when my father broke his leg, I was working out six days a week. That's when the ah-ha moment entered. I have become too busy running around for my family and work obligations that I have completely ignored myself. By the time my day is done, that couch and a good dose of a taped version of "America's Got Talent" is looking pretty good. You tend to avoid going out because "you're tired" and dress frumpy to keep people at a distance. What a crock (but a great coping mechanism)!
My body is slowly falling apart. It started with a foot injury that sideline my running over a year ago. Then my neck and back went on the blink (thank God for my chiropractor hubby) followed by an old knee injury. Seriously, can one not just go to the local Canadian Tire and go through the body parts drive through and get refurbished just like new? This is ridiculous.
Over these last few years, I've also matured in knowledge. Well maybe not so much knowledge as life smarts and lessons we learn as we age. I have a good friend, Sue, who says "this is the way I am and I've learned to live with it and everyone else should too." Kudos to this attitude. I love her free spirit and love of life JUST AS SHE IS. I'm not quite at that point yet. I have let myself go as I have let things in my life interfere with living. Many people tell me that there is no time limit to grieve "life situations", whether it is a death, divorce, job change, etc. I think we find ourselves (at least I do) living my life grieving someone who is no longer with me and in turn am wasting the life God gave me to live to my fullest. It's a great buffer zone but not very practical.
I look around at the residents where my father lives and realize when I harp on my kids to keep care of their teeth and body it's for their own good. Seeing the aged struggle with eating and trying to maneuver a wheelchair around is heartbreaking. This too has made me realize that I am the only one who can help myself as getting old is just a fact of life and it is up to me to have that happen with the least amount of challenges.
A wise gentleman (Dr. Phil, ha ha) once said, "You cannot change what you don't acknowledge". Well I think I have finally done that. We must live for the people that are here to be truly enriched and then join up with our loved ones in our next life. It's not fair to shelter ourselves in the fear of being hurt again. Your kids need you to be the best you can be. Your friends need you to be the best you can be. Your spouse needs you to be the best you can be. You owe it to so many people, especially yourself...to be the best you can be. Remember...you only get one shot at this. Don't waste it.
A cartoon woman, Maxine, who is not only a funny "crusty" old woman but very wise, once said "If you woke up breathing...congratulations...you have another chance." She also said "Life should not be a journey to the grave with the intention of arriving safely in an attractive and well preserved body, but rather to skid in sideways, chocolate in one hand, martini in the other, body thoroughly used up, totally worn out and screaming WOO HOO what a ride." Great advice... now pass the celery sticks and bring on the treadmill.
P.S. Remember, when you see a larger person, they are not necessarily overeaters. They could be dealing with "life issues" that have nothing to do with food. This applies to larger people out for a walk or a bike ride. After all, they are trying to get some exercise and you have to start somewhere, right? Try being compassionate and supportive in whatever capacity you can. The reward will far exceed the popularity you think you are achieving by being opinionated. Try it!
Pet peeve of the week: Drivers who allow their dogs to hang their heads out the window while sitting on their lap. Honestly, if these pets are like your children, then put them in a seatbelt and keep them safe. You can't have it both ways by saying they are so precious to you that you can't leave them at home yet you have them flopping all over your vehicle.
Maybe that's just me...let me know what you think!
