So, here's some early strategy for getting to the Grey Cup Game, which has become almost a national holiday in Canada: Start your season 0-5, then 1-6, then start getting serious.
Usually, 0-5 means at last three things: 1. Player personnel is pathetic; 2. Fans quit showing up for games; 3. The coach gets fired.
In British Columbia, evidently, it's called warming up.
Unbelievably, the B.C. Lions were 1-6 on Aug. 13, after a 30-17 home-field defeat at the hands of Winnipeg Blue Bombers and now, about three months and 11 games later, they are likely to be overwhelming favourites to win the Grey Cup when it's played on Sunday, Nov. 27 in B.C. Place. (The Lions had one obstacle in their way en route to the Grey Cup Game, the Edmonton Eskimos, in the Western final held this past weekend.)
Vegas odds makers would have laughed at anybody putting serious Grey Cup money on a team languishing at 1-6 one-third of the way into the season. But the last laugh would go to a B.C. believer, one of whom was veteran head coach Wally Buono, who saw that three of those first six losses were by less than a touchdown and that quarterback Travis Lulay was improving with every game.
In July and August, Lulay was Ordinary Joe. In September and October, he was Super Joe, throwing 25 TD passes and only three interceptions in the Lions'10-1 rush down the stretch. When voting took place for Most Outstanding Player in the Western Conference, Lulay was lionized by the voters: He won in a walk.
And this is what most observers think the Lions should do on Nov. 27 in Vancouver, when 60,000-plus fans jam into B.C. Place and millions of TV viewers across the country tune in to watch what could be, well, a contest similar to the Christians being fed to the lions in ancient Rome.
The Christians, in this case, will be the Eastern Conference rep, either Winnipeg or Hamilton, neither of whom scared too many people - other than their own coaches and fans - down the CFL stretch. The Bombers lost seven of their last 11 while limping to the East pennant; the Tiger Cats had similar problems, losing four of their last five (finishing with an uninspiring 8-10 overall) before escaping with an overtime win over Montreal in the East semi-final.
If the Lions win the Cup on Nov. 27, other coaches around the CFL will have a new answer to critics complaining about poor starts to seasons. "Just pulling a Buono," they'll say.
Comedy writer Jim Barach: "St. Louis Cardinal Albert Pujols unveiled a statue of himself outside his restaurant. David Wells once thought he had a statue of himself outside a restaurant but found out the place was just a Big Boy."
Barach again: "NASCAR driver Kyle Busch has written a letter of apology for intentionally causing a wreck during a race. Racing fans were surprised. NASCAR drivers can write?"
R.J.Currie of sportsdeke.com: "Saskatchewan Roughriders punter Chris Milo tied a CFL record with a 108-yard boot for a single. Call it the punt of no return."
Dwight Perry of the Seattle Times: "John Daly, who walked out in the middle of his round at the Australian Open after half-heartedly hitting all his balls into a water hazard, can always say the devil made him do it. Daly's latest world ranking: 666th."
Budd Bailey of the Buffalo News, after NHL Hall of Famer Mark Messier ran the New York Marathon in four hours, 14 minutes, 21 seconds: "And that includes four minutes for roughing and a 10-minute misconduct along the way."
Kevin Gleason of the Middletown (N.Y.) Times Herald-Record, on tinkering with the outfield dimensions at Citi Field: "The Mets do know the other team gets to play with the fences in as well, right?"
After No. 1- and No. 2-ranked Louisiana State and Alabama played a 9-6 football "thriller", Gene Wojciechowski of ESPN.com wrote: "If that was The Game of the Century, then I want my 100 years back. So let's get this out of the way right now: These two teams deserve a BCS-championship rematch like Kim Kardashian deserves to keep her wedding gifts."
Janice Hough of leftcoastsportsbabe.com: "If that was the "Game of the Century," then in the 1900s the Cubs were the "Team of the Century."
Brad Dickson of the Omaha World-Herald weighs in on the debate about Canada replacing the beaver as its national symbol. "How can a country obsessed with hockey have a mascot with teeth?"
Another one from Dwight Perry: "The Toronto Maple Leafs are off to a 9-4-1 start and leading their division? Looks like that guy who keeps predicting the world is about to end finally nailed it this time."
Headline in the Onion.com: "Celebratory Jets Dump Cooler Of Soap And Water On Rex Ryan."
Columnist Bob McCown in Sportsnet magazine, answering a reader's question about whether tennis star Novak Djokovic is on drugs: "Djokovic weighs about 80 pounds and his arms are like pipe-cleaners. The only drugs it looks like he's on are laxatives."
Care to comment? Email brucepenton2003@yahoo.ca
