You can't shove a square peg into a round hole, nor squeeze a camel through the eye of a needle. And the Blue Jays can't win the American League East.
OK, maybe that last 'can't' is a 'not usually', but contending in the toughest division in baseball (which includes high-spending Yankees and Red Sox and ultra-talented Tampa Bay) hasn't been easy for Toronto.
But that appears about to change. Don't look now, but the 2012 Blue Jays are threatening to bring baseball excitement back to Canada reminiscent of the early 1990s, when they won back-to-back World Series titles on the talents of Joe Carter, John Olerud, Roberto Alomar, Pat Hentgen and Jack Morris.
The Jays were an absolute freight train during the spring season, mowing down the opposition with power, pitching and defence - standard ingredients when you're building a championship team. Heading into the final days of spring training, the Jays had a gaudy 22-5 record and although only a fool would seize spring stats and suggest they are likely to foretell the team's fate through the gruelling 162-game regular season, some of the best baseball minds in America are looking at the Jays and saying 'this is a team that could contend.'
While the Jays had a decent 81-81 finish last year, most observers say the youthful squad is on the verge of a breakout season. B.C. boy Brett Lawrie played only 43 games last year (.293 with nine homers) but is being whispered as a potential MVP candidate after he batted over .500 most of the spring. Outfielder Jose Bautista is the game's most feared slugger, catcher J.C. Arenchibia is coming off a 23-homer season and veteran first baseman Adam Lind slugged 26 homers last year.
On the mound, Ricky Romero (42 wins in his first three years with the Jays) heads a pitching staff that is no longer a laughing stock, featuring Brandon Morrow (11-11 last year) and closer Sergio Santos, who saved 30 games in 36 opportunities with the White Sox last year. Waiting in the minors for his chance in the bigs is Kyle Drabek.
Major League Baseball annually produces surprising teams. Underdog St. Louis Cardinals, remember, won the World Series last year. Arizona Diamondbacks, picked to finish last in the NL West after a 65-win season in 2010, finished first with 94 wins in 2011. Texas Rangers, also-rans for so many years, are now an established power.
Don't bet the rent, but don't be surprised if the high-paying Red Sox and Yanks are sitting at home this October while the Blue Jays are reliving their glory days of 20 years ago.
Janice Hough of leftcoastsportsbabe.com: "Congrats to Jamie Moyer, 49, who made the Colorado Rockies, and will now be the oldest pitcher ever on an MLB Opening Day roster. Moyer's next challenge: To become the first pitcher whose age is a higher number than his pitch speed." Meanwhile, Hough reports that after hearing that 44-year-old Omar Vizquel, had cracked the Blue Jays roster for 2012, Moyer sent his congratulations, adding "Omar is such a hardworking young man."
Brad Dickson of the Omaha (Neb.) World-Herald, on the $500,000 first-place prize in the Bassmaster Classic: "Eleven Kansas City Royals immediately announced they're leaving baseball for the big money in fishing."
Scott Ostler of the San Francisco Chronicle: "It was rumored the Jets were jealous of Linsanity and wanted to trump it with Timsanity. Done. New York has cemented its claim as the world capital of sports-related mental disorders."
Another one from Ostler: "The government of Qatar is still questioning the need to sell beer at World Cup matches in 2022. Isn't Qatar in the desert? Yo, vendor, gimme a hot chocolate!"
R.J. Currie of sportsdeke.com: "NFL linebacker Joey Porter called Tim Tebow the Justin Bieber of the NFL. I'm not sure this insults Bieber's arm or Tebow's singing."
Currie again: "The N.Y. Jets acquired Tim Tebow from Denver for a fourth- and sixth-round pick. And a prayer to be name named later."
David Whitley of FanHouse.com, on Tiger Woods's return to competitive prominence: "Cheering against Tiger Woods used to be as futile as cheering against the sun coming up. Bad news, Tiger haters. It's time to start squinting again."
Another one from Hough, on Chipper Jones saying he'll retire at the end of the 2012 season: "Responded Brett Favre: 'The first time is the hardest.' "
After TV evangelist Pat Robertson criticized the Denver Broncos for trading Tim Tebow, saying that Peyton Manning could be injured and the Broncos would be left without a quality quarterback, Scott Ostler of the San Francisco Chronicle wrote: "I'm no theologian, but I'm pretty sure TV evangelist Pat Robertson offered God a bounty for a Peyton Manning cart-off."
Mike Bianchi of the Orlando Sentinel, on Tiger's comeback: "Tiger winning is infinitely more fun than Tiger sinning."
Another one from Hough to finish up: "For all those disappointed folks who spent money on Mega Millions and still haven't given up on chasing the impossible dream, the Cubs are considering taking nonrefundable deposits on World Series tickets."
