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Which fantasy hockey team owner are you?

The long season that is the NHL year has begun, and while we are nowhere within sight of the spectacular June climax, there are things to keep fans excited. There isn't much excitement in training camp.


The long season that is the NHL year has begun, and while we are nowhere within sight of the spectacular June climax, there are things to keep fans excited.
There isn't much excitement in training camp. It's really just practice and to quote Allen Iverson, "We're talking about practice. We are not talking about the game, when it really matters. We are talking about practice."
Practice doesn't matter to fans, and that's all training camp is.
Then there are preseason games, and they are also pretty meaningless for everyone who isn't using those games to earn a job and living for the next eight months. That means me and everybody who is watching hockey games instead of playing them right now.
All fans really have to care about right now is fantasy hockey. Fantasy drafts have been happening for the last couple of weeks and will continue until the start of the season on Oct. 6.
Fantasy leagues are made up of a wide range of people, but every league has the same mix of characters.
First there is the guy who doesn't show up to the draft, which is typically done online, though I've done them in person as well. Mr. No Show's team is set to automatically pick the highest ranked player available. He always remembers the fantasy league the very next day when he starts offering trades because of his dissatisfaction with his team. Two days before the draft the Mr. No Show in my league asked for the time of our draft to be changed to 75 minutes later, which we did to accommodate him. His truancy was particularly noted after that.
Then there is Sleeper Pick. This guy goes deep into the ranked players early. When there are players still available who consistently post 50 or 60 point seasons, he's drafting some young stud who was never on anybody else's radar and who he could have taken as a last pick. That player will always be available on waivers come November, once Sleeper Pick gives up all hope.
Next up is the Surgeon. The Surgeon has done his research. This guy has followed training camp and the preseason like a dog follows his tail. He has the whole draft mapped out and picks his squad with precision and logic. He's been following blogs for weeks and anything new that comes up on the Rotowire gets immediately sent to his phone. The Surgeon tends to overthink all of his decisions. The time may expire for his draft selections a couple of times before he can make a pick.
There is always someone who wants everybody in the draft. Mr. Popular is disappointed after every single pick that's made in the first five rounds. Whenever a player is picked, he'll say, "Ooh, I wanted that guy." Well, of course you wanted that guy. This is a fantasy draft, and the teams are made up of the best and brightest superstars in the league. Somebody else will be available, but it doesn't matter to Mr. Popular because he wants everybody.
Lastly, there is the Dark Horse. The Dark Horse is usually known by only one other guy in the league, and was invited because he's unassuming and willing to put up $20 for the league fee. He doesn't say much or participate in much trading or free agency pickup once the season gets started. During the draft, he has a knack for selecting amazing players in unlikely places. When he makes late picks, everybody else in the league says, "How was that guy still available?"
I've been guilty of a couple of these and even played the Dark Horse, but which fantasy owner are you?